The Probinsyana's Diary: August 1, 2011

Dear Diary,

Isn't it amazing how resilient the human soul is? No matter how much life can get so grueling, it would always manage to roll with the punches and survive it all.

TEAMBUILD CREW'S FIRST MURAL EVER!

I just got back from our little fishing village. The moment I saw heavy traffic, tall buildings, and speeding cabs, I knew I was in hell (on Earth) again. Don't get me wrong, I love the city. I grew up in the city. But being a few meters away from where the sound of crashing waves are made, took a load off the stress I have been through lately. Good stress mind you, but stress nonetheless.

Anyway, I spent a lot of my time during the weekend near the water. Just listening to it, burying my feet under the sand, and looking up the night sky wishing for the stars to come out and play with me. What made it really special though was the fact that I was in the company of friends who just sat and watched the waves with me.

And then it hit me. I am lucky. Lucky to be surrounded by people who genuinely love me for me. Isn't it funny how we always seem to be in search for love, approval, and acceptance? And then all along, it was just right in front of you. I don't know, maybe it's a curse for humans to be so. We all seem to share this constant need for wanting more. I only know a few people who would say they are content with their lives. Most of them beyond their 80s.

I love the "provincial life" so much now. I am kind of used to it. I have discovered new things about me and the universe in the solace I have found back home. This probinsyana came back to the city today with a heavy heart. Even her friends who were with her were suffering from separation anxieties. I can't help but wonder then if I have searched high and low for that contentment, only to find out it might be where I built my first happy childhood memories?

The probinsya grows on you, and sometimes, I find myself trying too hard to fit in. It's like highschool all over again. Only, highschool was easier to handle. Or trying to find your "soul mate" so you love, and then lost, and loved again, and lost again. Only in the end, you find out that your soul mate may not be a love interest but a best friend.

I am not really sure where this probinsyana fits now.

This probinsyana wants peace in her heart. She almost found it. She thought she did. But then this probinsyana realized that if life were a string of fortunate events, it would be difficult to appreciate happiness now, wouldn't it?

My papa used to remind me how I must choose my friends wisely. I never really understood it until last weekend. There will be friends who will sit through happy times with you but would run away the minute things get sour. Some would just sit and listen. Some would fight your battles for you. Some would not fear spelling out the truth of your mistakes to your face. Some would just be a pain in the ass. Some, and these are my favorite ones, would be badass and would stick with you no matter how ugly you can get, or how beautiful you become. These special ones are those who see right through you.

What my papa meant was, it doesn't matter. You can be in the company of badass bitches, but if you guys genuinely care for each other, you have found the keepers. Never let them go.

I am not sure when this probinsyana goes back to the fishing village, but she is grateful beyond words. She has met new beautiful souls, and have gotten to know the old ones all over again. True enough, life is good.

Here's to the people who will choose to sit and watch the waves with me until the waves are gone. Cheers!

Peace, Island Love, and Provincial life!

Your Probinsyana

Posted in: probinsyana's diary